Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Match-Making Tie

Who does not want to find love? The Match-Making Tie is the ultimate tool for achieving that end. This fashionable and completely inconspicuous accessory has an incredibly useful ulterior function. The tie has a computer chip within its cloth that maintains a constant wireless connection with several important databases: the United States Census and the United States Marriage Records. With these two sources of information, the tie can accurately identify the population of single women of a very specific age group. The actual linkage of the databases' information to the women in close proximity to the tie occurs as a small exterior camera identifies women based on facial recognition. Once the tie has detected a single woman of the desired age group in a 500-meter radius, the perfectly white cloth lights up neon-pink. The wearer is now able to take a calculated risk with the identified woman, and is one step closer to finding his lifelong companion.

The Match-Making Tie would be a wonderful tool for Oskar Schell as he matures. Oskar has difficultly connecting with his peers, and has already demonstrated a general desire for womanly companionship: "I could feel the breath of her words against my face. I asked her, 'Could we kiss for a little bit?'" (99). If there were an invention such as this tie that could allow him to take more realistic risks with single women of his ago group, Oskar's efforts would be far more effective and he would likely suffer less rejection: " 'Excuse me?' she said...'I'm forty-eight and you're twelve'"(99). Of course, the marriage records are unnecessary for Oskar as a twelve-year-old, but as he grows up they will become essential in his search for a soul-mate. Additionally, without a father, Oskar will be largely on his own in learning how to connect to women in an adult manner. This Tie, although certainly not a father-substitute, might help Oskar in one specific arena of fatherly support and advice. The tie is also Oskar's signature white, so it will fit right in with the rest of his wardrobe.

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