How Do We Really Know Ourselves?

A Visit from the Goon Squad, a book by Jennifer Egan is a compilation of small stories, all different, but all intertwined in some way. In each of Egan's stories, there is a recurring motif that has some deeper significant meaning to the overall story's message. In the story, "Ask Me If I Care", the recurring motif is uniforms.

Egan uses the motif of uniforms to highlight the complex concept of finding a true identity, because how we represent ourselves to society, and how the uniforms we wear alter society's opinions about us may often not be the most authentic forms or representations of ourselves. This representation is especially pivotal in our modern society, which is driven by postmodern and image-driven ideals.

As a highschooler, I began to analyze the literal uniforms I have to put on everyday, how do my uniforms affect society’s impression of me?

I play field hockey on my high school team and individuals on the team are issued uniforms consisting of a skirt and two jerseys, one blue and one white. Field hockey does not have the best rep at our school, it is often seen as the "rich white girl sport" and the sport is often misunderstood because many people have not heard of field hockey before coming to high school, let alone seen it being played.

As a white female myself, I feel as if I am unintentionally enhancing the stereotypes placed on field hockey players at my high school. I wear my field hockey uniform because I love to compete and play sports, though I believe the preset stereotypes identified with field hockey players tamper society’s view of that drive. Instead society sees us field hockey players as only our stereotypes.

Throughout my time playing field hockey on my high school team, I have had to come to terms with the fact that many people may not understand the sport, and the heart and soul of the people who play it. Instead of over-analyzing the stereotypes I am identified with because I play field hockey, I have accepted with the fact that there is little I can do to change the stubborn, high schooler minds who have created these stereotypes.

Egan uses the recurring motif of uniforms in the story, "Ask Me If I Care", to exemplify the fact that in our postmodern world, it is seemingly impossible to find your authentic self because of all the identities and stereotypes society places on an individual. In order to find happiness, individuals must accept the ambiguity of their identities and come to terms with the potentially unwanted identities society places on them. Being conscious of these identities, but not letting them control one's experiences and happiness is key.