It felt so good it hurt
Hard to feel anything except surprise
He felt paralyzed
They all felt relief
He felt shame
His fatigue, it felt fine
The poor guy didn't feel a thing
He felt pleased to be alive
You'd feel the boredom
War has the feeling
Of a great ghostly fog, thick and permanent
Tasting sea salt and moisture
He would sometimes taste
The envelope flaps
Knowing her tongue had been there
He liked the smell of the new testament
The damp fungal scent
Of an empty body bag
The smell of smoke and filth
You look up and see the sun
No clouds or birds or people
Flies in his mouth and his eyes
Watching the stars
You close your eyes
You can't see jack
I don't see no moral
Except for the laughter things were quiet
A funny ghost sound
High happy moaning sound, ahhooooo
Hearing the sounds of night
You'd hear gunfire behind you
Hearing strange noises in the dark
The sounds carry forever
They begged for the noise to stop
You hear stuff nobody should ever hear
That quiet - just listen
Theres your moral
Like you never even heard quiet before
Absolute silence
I really like how your poem emphasizes the sensory details of war, and life in general. I like how your poem shows that little things in war are intense and have meaning, like liking the envelope. Things smell bad in war, people die in war, people laugh in war and your poem captures all of that. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteIt must have been hard work to find all the sensory details in this poem, but I think the effect is worth it. Its cool to see all the different feelings of war, and you draw attention to the senses through the bold words, which is a good style choice.
ReplyDelete