Man, you got wax in your ears
War is terror and adventure
It commands you
You’d try to relax
Hoping to relieve some of the pressure
Always on guard
A watched feeling
War wasn’t all that way
There’s a kind of largeness to it
The land was mostly wilderness
Feel awe at the setting of the sun
Hoping to relieve some of the pressure
Always on guard
A watched feeling
War wasn’t all that way
There’s a kind of largeness to it
The land was mostly wilderness
Feel awe at the setting of the sun
War’s a bitch
It would never go away
The war has been over for a long time
But it would never go away
We all got problems
Death
It was a sad scene
Those days were tough
It would never go away
The war has been over for a long time
But it would never go away
We all got problems
Death
It was a sad scene
Those days were tough
Remembering will lead to a story
Even now, the story makes me squirm
There is no clarity
This one wakes me up
Remembering will lead to a story
Is it true?
Very nice poem. I really like the flow you managed to produce using the phrases. Even though mine conveyed the story I wanted it to, it felt disjointed, ragged. This fit perfectly well with mine, but yours seems more like speech, flowing and connected, only pausing to collect in the mind.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a lot of these were actual quotes directly from the book, and if that is the case, then bravo. This is a good found poem, considering the actual definition of a found poem. If the majority weren't quotes from the text, then you did a great job of working withing O'Brien's style.
ReplyDeleteAwesome poem, really touching. I think you really captured what O'Brien was expressing about war and what it's like to fight in another country.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good poem. I think you did a great job of expressing the stresses, pressure, and discomfort that O'Brien makes clear in his stories.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of these comments the words you chose to describe war are very visual and it could give a person a good idea about war itself.
ReplyDelete