Sex, New York City, and Feminism

(Contains some spoilers)

Sex and the City takes place in 90s New York City, through the eyes of four best friends: Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha. Each woman starts out the show single and holding different values about relationships and sex. These differing opinions, though, are what make their friends group and the overall show so provocative and entertaining. Carrie, the main character, writes a column called ‘Sex and the City’ for the local paper and uses her friends and own experiences for research. The show is no stranger at challenging gender roles and stereotypes, considering that a lot of the show is the girls questioning what they can or can’t do or man problems. But just because the focus is a lot on men does not mean the show isn’t feminist- quite the contrary actually. This is due to how each of the four girls has such vastly different views and lifestyles, while all still being independent and leading successful lives with or without a man. Their differing outlooks in turn influence the choices they make throughout the show (sex, relationships, marriage, children, jobs).

One quote (said by Samantha to Carrie) from the pilot episode nicely sums up the reason I think this show contains feminist values: “Sweetheart, this is the first time in the history of Manhattan that women have had as much money and power as men plus the equal luxury of treating men like sex objects.” What she is saying, though crude, technically follows the definition of feminism, which is equal rights for both men and women. If men can get away with treating women like sex objects, what’s stopping women from safely being able to do the same?

This show does a great job at representing how “women over thirty” think, connecting it back to our overall society. The four friends are constantly questioning themselves and their relationships. For example, in the pilot episode, Samantha declares that she wants to start having sex like a man. Her bold statement causes Charlotte, the most innocent and classy one of the group, to be taken aback. Throughout the show you learn that Charlotte believes in a very traditional relationship, where the wife is domestic and the husband is the breadwinner. Samantha, instead, embraces her sexuality and fits into the seductress stereotype (and embraces it!). With her plan to have sex like a guy, she figures she will be able to be non-committal and just have fun. She does just that and exerts her female power throughout most of the show. “Samantha Jones was a NY inspiration. A PR Executive; she routinely slept with good looking guys in their twenties.” (A quote from the pilot.)

Later, Miranda becomes pregnant by a guy she’s very on-off about. She completely defies the stereotype that women cannot be both successful at work and mothers (especially while not married). While most of the time Miranda is preoccupied as a high power lawyer and taking care of her son Brady, there are times when she’s insecure about her singleness (especially compared to her friends). This is touching at the old maid stereotype, though she has a kid. Why is the idea that only when we’re married will we live a happy life forced into our heads? Can’t we be happy on our own?

Going back to Samantha’s sexual declaration, she got Carrie to try it out too. So, Carrie found one of her exes and simply had a non-committal fling. After it’s over, she starts for home and her voice-over says, “As I began to get dressed, I realized that I’d done it. I’d just had sex like a man. I left feeling powerful, potent and incredibly alive. I felt like I owned this city. Nothing and no-one could get in my way.” Later when Carrie runs into the man again, he turned out to be pleased by her wanting to only have sex and not worry about commitment. So Carrie feels conflicted, because even though the non-committal relationship was in fact her decision, she no longer felt in-control. Her scenario reinforces the player stereotype for a guy, because the scene is showing the double standard for men and women when it comes to sex.

Overall I consider Sex and The City to be a feminist piece of work. Throughout its six seasons and two follow-up movies, the show presents an abundance of scenarios and stories to work with in order to pick out stereotypes and gender roles that both women and men have to face. I also think that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda all have a good amount of autonomy within their lives. I totally suggest watching the show to see for yourself!