Somewhat of a Shameful Story

So there I was, in front of my parents, my teammates and strangers. There was a dim lighting and complete silence over everyone except for the somewhat inconsiderate wrestlers on the upper balcony. It was mid season and I could see snow through the windows of the complex. I was surprisingly not very nervous at all. There was a slight draft but I was used to the chills from practice where it is freezing.

The announcer calls out my name and dive number. I was performing a dive I had never attempted during a meet. Though this dive was new to me in competition I had done it so many times in practice that I wasn't the least bit nervous. It was also my first time my parents would ever see me attempt the dive. My coach seemed to have had high hopes for me, not in this particular meet, but in my general diving career, I hoped not to disappoint.

I stepped up the two aqua blue steps to the low grit sandpaper like board. I listen hearing nothing but the somewhat inconsiderate wrestlers up on the balcony. They seem to have become louder, though I’m sure I had just focused on them too much. I was not a very good diver. It was my first year in the sport and I would have considered myself, if asked, to be lower average. I put my hands a foot in front of my torso and begin my cadence of a walk down the board that I was all too familiar with. I jump up, one knee bent, both arms above my head. As always this is when I can feel the one distinguished heart beat I always feel before I dive. Backwards arm circle as I hit the board with my arms down and my knees bent. I explode up, arms out above my head. I ride to my peak and throw forward. I threw harder than I ever had. Too hard. I flipped once, eyes closed, not a single thought in my head. I come back around for the second somersault, the inertia makes me feel like I’m in a crashing car. I feel a tight slip, I start rolling to the side as go through the second flip and smash into the water on the side of my head, hearing a loud slap in my inner ear.

I swam to the bottom of the pool as I always did when I messed up. I swim up ready to hear my score announced, ready for the first “FAILED ATTEMPT” of my diving career. I came out of my water to hear three two’s and a one, I did not fail but was still disappointed. I get out of the water and walk to my coach with his astonished disappointed look that he seems to use a lot in general. I told him sorry, that I threw too hard and couldn't handle it, then my hand slipped out. He didn't care. I went to sit with my teammates on the freezing metal bleacher. I walked up, laughed, and asked how f$cking amazing that looked.