Thursday, October 15, 2015

Men, socially acceptable dressing and behavior

So, today I was helping my best friend by borrowing him some clothes of mine for another school's homecoming that he attending. His date was wearing a beautiful black dress. He knew I dressed well, so he asked if I had any black dress clothes. I did in fact have a whole outfit, which was primarily black. It consisted of: nice black jeans, a black dress shirt with a grey vest to go over it, a deep red skinny tie and a pair of grey casual dress shoes. After describing this to him, he happily accepted and we set a time for him to come pick it up. I also had many other ties that would work with this outfit, so I said "Just take your favorite." He had been hanging out with his date before picking up the clothes, so when he did pick them up, she was with him. Happily, I introduced myself and invited them in. Him knowing that she cared a lot more about how they dressed as a date, he pretty much let her decide what he wore. Shortly before they left, he asked, "So what about the vest?" She responded by saying, "This isn't prom, you shouldn't wear a vest," in a snarky tone. He quickly said "Really?" He said this as I held a perplexed and slightly perturbed look. This pricked me, as I often casually wear this to school or to an outing. Is there not only a dress quota for women but also for men? I feel like this annoyed me more than it should have, but is it no longer okay for men to dress fashionably? Are men expected to only wear jeans and a couple variations of shirts? I think that because of this expectation, men have fallen away from dressing nicely or looking "dapper." The new nice is a solid colored polo, plaid or checkered button up. 

As a man, I feel like it is hard to find a varied and personal sense of fashion. There are several factors that contribute to this dilemma. There aren't a lot of different styles or combinations of clothing that men can mix and match. It's hard to break the boundaries in terms of fashion because there are only a few categories men have available and are allowed to fit into. There is: Business dressy, business casual, preppy, casual, and hipster. Of course there are a few deviations from these categories, but those deviations don't go far. I feel like this mostly derives from social norms and girls' expectancy for what guys should wear. Not only that, but men limiting how they dress simply because of how they think a man should act and what a man should be. I see a lot of men and boys stuck in a mind set of "Men don't care about fashion, that's for women," or " "Only models dress like that," or "People would think i'm weird if I dressed like that." 

I have found that defining my own sense of fashion to be very liberating. I personally enjoy wearing a nice dress shirt with a vest, rocking a casual blazer, or wearing a skinny tie. Of course every man doesn't want to dress like this, which is totally cool. I find the look classy, but others may not. The point is to dress to your style and not let society define your fashion. If you enjoy wearing jeans and a graphic shirt from a thrift shop and you feel like that represents you, then by all means, rock it.   

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